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Stripping Down Love

Underwear on a fan.

If I ever had any doubts about my husband’s love, they were debunked a few months ago.

Late one night, I got a wild hair before bed and made a simple request.

husband strip tease

Stripteases are fun, except when they’re not.

I asked him for a strip tease.

After he reluctantly agreed (there was only a bit of begging and pleading involved) I quickly ran into the bedroom, turned off the lights, lit a candle and positioned myself on the bed, ready for my show.

Much less excited,Steffen shuffled to turn on some tunes.

For some reason—I’ve yet to understand why—he thought a Justin Timberlake ditty would complement the moment.

As Justin crooned from the other room, “Just let me rock your body ’til the break of day,” Steffen removed his shirt and gave me a bit of a hip swing. Soon the top was off and he started working on the pants, bouncing his butt as Justin chanted, “That ass shaking thing you do.”

He paraded around the bedroom, shy, awkward, slightly humiliated.

Suddenly, he got creative, and his 6’6″ frame jumped on the bed. He didn’t miss a beat and started his dance again as Justin sang, “So you grab your girls and you grab a couple more.”

Finally, he’s in the moment. He’s grooving. He’s so close …

I shouted, “Baby, watch the …” but it was too late.

WHACK! The fan blade collided with his temple and sent him crashing to the bed, hollering in pain.

I wish I could say I immediately jumped to his aid. I didn’t. I cackled. I crowed. I whooped. I choked back the laughter tears. I couldn’t even move. Finally, I gathered myself and went to the kitchen to get an ice pack to stop any potential swelling.

Steffen lay sprawled across the bed, holding a package of frozen strawberries to his head—pride crushed.

It’s odd, but as I watched him pout, completely humiliated, I realized I never loved him more.

Even Agatha Christie noted the phenomenon in her famous quote, “It is a curious thought, but it is only when you see people looking ridiculous that you realize just how much you love them.”

For those of you who might be concerned, silently thinking, “How could she,” Steffen is fully aware and supportive of this blog post.

Comments 1

  1. OK, the hilarious ending almost makes up for the searing mental image engendered by the lead-in.

    Almost.

    😛

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